May. 30th, 2011

killerkaleidoscope: close-up centered on a violet daisy on diagonally-cracked gray pavement (Default)
Cross-legged on my bed, hunched over my laptop and slowly destroying the ligaments in my knees, has been pretty much my default position at wherever I'm calling home for the past several years. Today's a bit different, though--I'm looking at colleges. Seriously looking, not the casual pointless window shopping I've indulged since junior high. The Word document of relevant information for possible choices is saved as "Final Destinations". Yeah. I'm not entirely losing it yet. Give it time.

It's weird. I've been dreaming of financial and personal independence since I was eleven, but I've always been held back--and held myself back, to be honest. I mean, I never even tried to apply to college when I was in high school because I didn't know how to do it, I couldn't ask anyone for help, and I didn't think I was smart enough. Now I'm almost twenty-one and I'm finally getting my feet under me for the first time.

That's really scary. Or it should be. Strangely enough, I'm actually feeling quite calm. I think it's because, for the first time, I have people I can ask for help who will give me kind and applicable advice.

However, I'd appreciate it if the entire internet weren't beautifully equipped for high school students preparing to embark on their freshman year of college. Now, I don't begrudge those students, but note that I am a community college student looking to finish up my A.A.  & transfer out. The deafening silence? Is really not encouraging.

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killerkaleidoscope: close-up centered on a violet daisy on diagonally-cracked gray pavement (Default)
Karolina Keene

August 2012

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